Monday, March 01, 2010

The Big Bang Contest

Last fall my husband competed in a ranch rodeo in Choteau, Montana, while I wandered around and took pictures. Late in the afternoon, I went in search of a restroom. I found this:

What I did not find was one single person who could tell me what happened to Porta-Potty Number 5 (that's what we call them around here, Porty-Potties). So I'm calling on all my blog readers to give me a hand. It's simple: you decide what happened, and write the newspaper headline that appeared above this photo in the Choteau Acantha (that's the local newspaper).

Now for the best part. My new best friend Jenny at UBetcha Apparel has agreed to sponsor this little contest, which means two winners will get a certificate that allows them to pick from a bunch of cool stuff over at her website (no, the cowboys are not for sale) and she'll ship it to you free (unless you live on some remote Pacific Island where we have to hire a dolphin to courier it through a coral reef. That may require a small surcharge.) 

So here's the three simple steps to entering this contest:

1. Check out the prizes at UBetcha Apparel


2. Write a headline for the picture that makes me choke on my Pepsi (no profanity, please, this is a small town newspaper!) and post it in the comments below for all the world to see. Or at least that sliver of the world that stops by here. 

3. Check back on Friday, March 5 to see if you won. My panel of judges (i.e. me, my parents, my husband and anyone else who wants to voice an opinion) will choose our favorite, then I'll draw a second winner from the rest of the entrants.

Contest ends on Thursday, March 4 at 9 pm Mountain Standard Time. So come on, folks. Let's see what you've got.

*This is why I don't do contests. It's all so complicated. However, the judges have conferred and we (meaning me and the various imaginary people currently taking up my cranium space) have concluded that you may enter as many times as you want. 

67 comments:

Susan at Stony River said...

Oh boy, this is too tempting! I laughed out loud just looking at it.

Do you want the headlines in the comments or by email?

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Oh, right. In the comments, please, as I have now explained above. Geez, I need help with this contest thing.

Julie Weathers said...

One entry?

Julie Weathers said...

Proof Montana Cowboys Are HOT

Susan at Stony River said...

Thanks! And are we limited to one entry, or can we spam you mercilessly as they come to mind?

I don't have a headline yet, but I'm working on it. Meanwhile what actually happened is obvious:

"Picard to Enterprise. Regret to inform that Lieutenant Five-of-Five has not survived arrival on the planet's surface, due to transporter malfunction. Now get the damn thing fixed before we're due to return, or there'll be no Holodeck privileges for a week. Picard out."

Sorry, couldn't help that.
Carleton out.

Julie Weathers said...

Cowboys aren't for sale. How about rent? You can rent cats in NY.

Kari Lynn Dell said...

LOL Susan. I should have been expecting that one.

Julie: You'll have to ask Jenny ( @ubetcha_apparel ) about rentals, the cowboys are hers.

Susan at Stony River said...

Annual Chili Cook-off Discontinued after Winning Entry Results In $900 Property Damage

Susan at Stony River said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ACountryCowgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan at Stony River said...

Okay, I'm off to bed; it's past midnight here. But one more before I go:

"One Strike in the Bottom of the 5th: John's Out!"

thanks again for the fun Kari, and the link to UBetcha -- great store!

ACountryCowgirl said...

Here is my headline

"hunt is out for potty pyro"

No one knows just how this happened but I have a feeling a lit cigarette and all that methane and poo eating chemicals didn't get along and up she went.

Just my theory:)

ACountryCowgirl said...

I also like the headline

"Toilet Torcher on the loose":)

Thea said...

OMG! That is an awesome picture ... and you're right, that is exactly the kind of $#!* you see at rodeos (pun intended - I can't help myself!). Cowboys!

I need to think about my headline entry ... I'll be back!

Joan said...

Fruit of the Boom Bomber Strikes Again

Anonymous said...

"Sorry ladies. I don't do windows."

Sharon Moore
jjshannon@hotmail.com

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

Reefer Takes Down Potty.

Hey I know what goes on at a rodeo! That's my first entry.

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Perhaps I should have mentioned that Choteau hosts a Fourth of July rodeo.

MitMoi said...

SIS-BOOM-BAH at the Rodeo!

The patented "Smell Igniter System" (SIS for short) adds one more competition to the rodeo circuit.

See who can SIS-BOOM-BAH (Blast Obnoxious Odor Molecules into Blazing Ablution Hazards) first!

Gary Corby said...

Proof that the women in Montana really are hot

Susan at Stony River said...

Okay, three more and I'll leave you alone.
;-)
Thanks again for the fun!


Arsonist Downs a Fifth at Local Rodeo

Pyro Puts the HOT in CHOTeau

Cowgirls' Choteau-de-Toilette In Total Meltdown

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

Porta Potty Burns Down When Child is Left Unattended With a Sparkler!

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

clearly I am rarely terribly witty.

beadhack said...

Defiance of 'No Smoking' rule proves tragic.

Jean said...

Sporatic Global Warming Causes Meltdown

GirlMeetsFarm said...

Kari’s Chili Too Hot for Legion’s Potty

Rodeo Ignites Cowgirls’ Deposits

Cowgirl missing after urinal explosion

Even cowgirls get the booms

GirlMeetsFarm said...

Kari’s Chili Too Hot for Legion’s Potty

Rodeo Ignites Cowgirls’ Deposits

Cowgirl missing after urinal explosion

Even cowgirls get the booms

Cowgirlmaryann said...

Mens - out of order

CjSomebody said...

why women don't try to light their farts.

Thom said...

Exploding Buttocks Destroys Port-A-Potty

Susan at Stony River said...

Okay, I'm back, it's Thom's fault.


"Cowboy Drops Wrong Kind of Bomb in Choteau Portapot"

Jenny of UBetcha Apparel said...

Oh my gosh....

I'm seriously snorting over here....

Linda G. said...

Rodeo Honeymooners Vow Never to "Get Creative" Again.

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Holy Cow. I've either gotta stop reading these at work, or start sharing with my co-workers.

Janet Reid said...

SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION FEARED: Husband asked "what's for dinner" while mother and twin 2 yr olds used porta-potty.

Janet Reid said...

Veni, Vidi, Vaya (Con Dios)

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Local man's last words: "Honey, if I was kissin' your cousin in that port-a-potty, may God strike me down right here!"

Anonymous said...

Hot Flash Takes Down Porta-Potty. Middle-Aged Woman Suspect in Custody.

Anonymous said...

Oops. Forgot to add ID to my Anonymous entry above.

call me Zut.

Jon Griggs said...

Browning Man: "These new-kind sweat lodges no good in'it!?

NotJana said...

New design Porta-Potty confuses locals.

BJ said...

Alien from Outer Space learns to be careful when camouflaging himself

Says Frzzbt from Alpha Centauri: "I was just standing in line, and then this Earthling comes along and @*&#s in my hyperdrive..."

Shane said...

This is what happens when a bunch of flies decide to inspect the blue water at the same time. Obviously, they didn't read the fire code sign that read,"50 Flies Capacity."

kd easley said...

Outhouse Arson Causes Stink!

Kari Lynn Dell said...

OMG! They DO like like little green men!

And "may God strike me down". *hysterical laughter*

This is too much fun. I may have to keep it going for another week.

Cameron Tilbury said...

Proof of "what's the worst that could happen" exists when practicing correct Blue Flame technique.

Cameron Tilbury said...

Sometimes, air freshener just doesn't cover it.

Stan Grace said...

"Mid summer melt down unresolved".

"Don't mess with methane".

Carol said...

Hazmat Employment Opportunity

Jenn Johansson said...

Giant Microscope Melts More Than Ants

hehe... this is fun!

Susan at Stony River said...

Kari, thank you for this! Reading these have been the best laugh I've had for a long time!!

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Susan: Aren't these great? It's going to be really hard to pick a winner. May have to flip a coin or something.

NotJana said...

Buy 2 get 1 free - recession style.

Stan Grace said...

And another Choteau 'Hot Spot'!

Columiba wood welder said...

A local explosives company is being sued for reading wrong map.

Jon Griggs said...

#5 is proof that #2 can be flammable.

ACountryCowgirl said...

In Loving Memory

Por T. Potty

Choteau, MT. Por T. Potty (a.k.a. Por T. #5) Died October 26th 2009 at the age of 23. #5 died from internal complications. He was surrounded by many rodeo fans. #5 was born May 3rd 1986 in pooville, AR. Shortly after being born he met the love of his life Por T. Potty #4, together they raised a daughter named Por T. Potty #3. They spent their life traveling the rodeo circuit. #5 is survived by his wife (#4), and his daughter (#3). At the request of #5 his can will be cremated. Services will be held at the Choteau Rodeo grounds Oct. 30th 2009 at 10:00 a.m. TLC funeral homes will be handling the arrangements. You can send toilet paper rolls to TLC funeral homes.

Julie Weathers said...

Potter Porta-Potties. Some assembly required.

Julie Weathers said...

Inflatable Porta-Pottie Testing Site.

Julie Weathers said...

Only you can prevent Porta fires.

Julie Weathers said...

Wicked Witch of the West Located in Choteau.

Julie Weathers said...

Rodeo Queen De-Throned in Choteau.

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Remind me next time I do one of these to also allow email entries. Stupid Blogger isn't even letting me post comments to my own blog tonight.

So...TIMES UP!

Thanks everyone for your contributions, I will be taking up a collection to replace the keyboard I just spewed with chocolate milk. The esteemed panel of judges shall convene in the morning and render a verdict by tomorrow evening, so check back to see if you get to go shopping at Ubetcha. Or if I decide to just hog the gift certificate for myself.

Julie Weathers said...

You will include huckleberry something with it, won't you?

Anonymous said...

AND THE WINNER IS!!!

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Yes, I am late with the results. Remind me next year that running a contest and promising results on the day before your son's birthday party is not an example of excellent timing. I did, however, take advantage of having a house full of captive relatives to press them into service as judges.

So enough with the excuses....(drumroll please)....the winners are.....

Best Headline: Delilah Dawson

Local man's last words: "Honey, if I was kissin' your cousin in that port-a-potty, may God strike me down right here!"


And the winner of the random drawing:

Julie Weathers (Yay! Sorry, no huckleberries, but have fun over at Ubetcha Apparel)


I will forward your contact information to Jenny at Ubetcha and we'll get your online gift certificates to you ASAP. Thanks to everyone who chimed in, it was a blast! (snicker)

Crystal Posey said...

"Potter Porta-Potties. Some assembly required."

ROFL Julie is so funny! Dawson's was awesome too. How much fun, just reading the comments!