Rules of the Road

Travel is one of the evil necessities and occasional joys of rodeoing. I've seen a lot of places that I never would have considered going otherwise. Especially if it involved driving a one ton pickup and three horse trailer onto a ferry that bears a remarkable resemblence to Huck Finn's raft. Here, in no particular order, are a few things I learned from ten years on the rodeo road in the lovely Pacific Northwest. 1. Fuel is always cheapest at that last station down the road where you didn't stop. 2. No matter how many times you take the Kittitas Highway, it will never lead you to the Ellensburg Rodeo grounds. 3. Fossil, OR doesn't leave the arena lit up at three am. Those super-bright lights around what you thought was the arena? Those are at the LifeFlight landing pad. 4. Horses freak out when a helicopter almost lands on the trailer. 5. Traffic on I-5 through Everett, WA is prone to coming to a complete standstill for no particular reason, usually just beyond the crest of a hill. 6. A pick-up and horse trailer takes at least three car lengths longer to stop than a Honda. 7. The people in those three cars get sort of bug-eyed when you slide past them in the median. 8. A rodeo that begins at seven Mountain time actually starts at six Pacific time. 9. When you forget #8 until the last moment, it is possible for an F350 with a camper and horse trailer to outrun the Corvette club. 10. Officer Stone of the Oregon Highway Patrol is kinda cute. 11. There are three hundred and twenty seven stop lights between McMinnville and Newport, Oregon. 12. When you are running late, three hundred and thirty of them will be red. 13. Teenagers working at all night convenience stores are not a reliable source of travel information. 14. Boise, ID has the nation's highest per capita of cars spewing flames on the side of the Interstate. 15. Yes, it really is that far to Winnemucca. 16. The person who put up the 10 mph, sharp curve signs on the road to Weippe, ID is a liar. That's much too fast. 17. Rattlesnake Grade isn't nearly as pleasant as it sounds. 18. This bumper sticker should be standard equipment on every horse trailer west of the Cascades: 19. Rush hour in Portland starts at three o'clock, not five. 20. Last, but certainly not least, do not buy the 44 ounce super-sipper at the Flying J Truck Stop in Troutdale before heading into Portland at three fifteen.